One thing I have heard over and over again in the last few weeks is “ I know I shouldn’t be upset about this, so many people have lost so much…” Sometimes it feels like we are not allowed to be sad because other people have it worse than us. But if you follow that line of thinking all the way down, there’s only one person in the world who is allowed to be sad at any given time.

Friends, our lives are virtually unrecognizable from where they were a month ago. Our social lives, ability to see family, ability to leave the house without creeping anxiety, our jobs, our family lives, our day-to-day routines… Everything has changed. In some capacity, that is going to affect you. It is a real loss. And losses deserve to be grieved. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself space and permission to feel how you feel, whether that’s angry, sad, overwhelmingly anxious, or lost and at loose ends.

Create intentional time and space to process your emotions. Whether that’s taking a long walk in silence to think through your new life, journaling, praying, having phone calls with friends and coworkers, you need to allow these emotions to happen, and not just stuff them in a box and deny them permission to exist. Perhaps you could even schedule a “cry night“ with a chick flick and ice cream and really let it all out.

And for those of you who have lost your job in this crisis, that is its own specific kind of loss. There is so much to mourn. A loss of your financial security, a loss of self identity, a loss of relationships with coworkers, a loss of self-esteem. A feeling of overwhelming fear looking at the staggering levels of unemployment and wondering what to do next. Please give yourself room and permission to feel these feelings.  Reach out to people in your circle and be honest about what you are experiencing in this. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. If you need help accessing resources, please reach out. I know this group will do the best they can.

After you have given yourself space to feel your emotions, and you know it’s time to move on with the rest of your day, take a page from the book of our great heroine Anna of Arendelle, take a deep cleansing breath, and just “do the next right thing“. And then repeat this routine over and over and over again, ‘til slowly, together, we get through this.