Today, this post addressees the members of our PMWS family that are white. We need to look at the trauma and suffering that our brothers and sisters of color have been living alongside for a long time.

As I think about the words I am about to write, the phrase “for such a time as this” comes to mind. We have built a beautiful community. We have done SO MUCH GOOD for this city. But if we do it without love, for everyone, it’s just a clanging gong and a clashing cymbal.Our nation has been caught in a conversation about race this week. I know this stirs up powerful emotions. If you have rocks to throw, I humbly ask you to instead, sit with the weight of those stones. Because our black brothers and sisters are dealing with too much to handle right now. We care enough to work our fingers to the bone making masks. Let’s care enough to show up for each and every neighbor we have in this city with love, compassion, deep listening, and allyship.

We have talked before about how telling hard truths comes at a cost to the truth teller. Friends, our family in the black community have been telling us hard truths for decades now. Centuries. 400 years. At great danger and risk. I know many of us white folks have knee jerk opinions when we hear those stories and messages. But before you begin to react or state your opinion right now, can I ask… have you actually listened?

Have you allowed yourself to truly hear the stories of the horrors that have happened just in the last year? To Mr. Botham Jean, or Ms. Brionna Taylor or Ms. Atatiana Koquice Jefferson, or Mr. Ahmaud Arbery, or Mr. George Floyd? Have you let these stories enter your psyche and felt their full, crushing weight? Do you read the full accounts of the stories of racial inequity in this country, or do you simply click past the headlines?

We live in a free country. People died for our right to have our opinions. I would argue the sacrifice made for our freedom of opinion obligate us to take the process of informing ourselves seriously. To weigh the evidence, listen to the stories, feel the pain that living in this particular moment of history brings. Have you done the hard work to form your own opinion on what is happening in the United States, or are you repeating the talking points you have heard from people you agree with most of the time?

My challenge to all the white folks in this group is to LISTEN. Fully. With an open mind. Without worrying about defending ourselves, or expressing our feelings. Listen to the stories, to the heartbreak, to the anger. And don’t speak. Don’t rush to solutions. Don’t excuse these issues as ones that are co-occurring with poverty or crime or drugs.

Don’t look to set yourself aside as the exception. People of color do not have the privilege of being seen as individual exceptions to the rule. Perhaps the discomfort of being lumped into a group of people you don’t necessarily agree with because of the color of your skin is an experience that can be used to build some empathy. I am white. It’s hard to face the anger staring me in the face. But guess what? I alllllllllllll too often live into the stereotype of a clueless white person without even being aware of it. That sucks, and its uncomfortable and embarrassing. I have a lot to learn.

We’ve been in this situation as a country before And we will be in it again before it changes. But in order for the change to be effective and lasting, it needs to start with deep, heartfelt listening. Then, true discomfort, anger, grief, mourning and all the other emotions we have. We need to end with repentance- open and unreserved.

Before we rush to change the systems, we need to fully understand what privilege is, and why equity and justice is the goal. If you can’t define those words or they cause a gut reaction in you, perhaps this is a sign that more listening may be needed. We as the majority culture need to sit humbly before the leadership of people who have lived their lives under the thumb of racism. Their voices, their lived experience, their wisdom and guidance are our way out of this place we find ourselves in. We as the majority need to sit and listen and lift up the voices of black and brown folks if we are ever going to take steps forward together.

Have you been listening to the national conversation this week? Or speaking? I am fully aware that I just said a LOT. In a post about listening. But the truth is, it’s not my voice that needs to be heard. Listen to the conversation that is happening around us. Let it change you.